Emailing or Texting While Divorcing: Tips for Effective Communication

You are separated from your spouse or in the middle of your divorce. Emotions are running high and so you do not want to call your ex but instead, you decide to send a long email or slew of text messages and give him or her a piece of your mind. Beware that you may have just created an exhibit that can be used against you in the divorce to make you look irrational, controlling, unreasonable, harassing, and potentially abusive. It is critical that you keep your communications courteous and civil with your ex so that you do not lose credibility in front of the judge.

Below are some guidelines that can help you keep your email and text message communications productive and safe in divorce:

1. Treat your soon-to-be ex as you want to be treated. A cordial tone can help facilitate good co-parenting and will always be favored by the court if the texts or emails ends up as exhibits.
2. Take a deep breath before responding. A moment of reflection can often result in better communication.
3. Keep it short and information based. Focus on a brief exchanges of information instead of a lengthy emotional rants.
4. Avoid vulgarity and profanity. Using “please” and “thank you” is ideal.
5. Whether you are communicating by phone or by email/text, remember to choose proper times for your communications and be thoughtful about not sending multiple messages over a short period of time. A torrent of communications during a single day can be interpreted as harassing.
6. Do not demand or expect an instant reply to your email or text messages.  Your ex may not be able to reply right away. Expecting instant responses can make you seem controlling and harassing.
7. If possible, try to respond to texts and emails within 24 hours while being responsive and polite.
8. Avoid name calling. Respectful communication can be the way to an amicable divorce while good communication is the key to good co-parenting.

Call Jane Gekhman at (940) 222-6014. We can help.